Friday, April 30, 2010
The next show on this goofy list is Freaks and Geeks. This one last only 22 episodes on NBC and I consistently refer back to it as the prime example that network executives don’t know what the fuck is good or (even more so) relatable. It is so hard to find a show that is relatable. There are a lot of shows that are good Californication and True Blood, but they’re not relatable.
This was about high school kids in the early 80s, you know, being the outsider. It was written, directed and starred basically everyone who had been involved with every Judd Apatow movie over the past four years. Joe Flaherty from SCTV played the dad and Tomas F. Wilson, the guy who played Biff in the Back to the Future movies played the gym coach. The formula seems incredible basic and that’s true, it was very basic.
The writers wrote about stuff that they experienced during high school and even though it was set in the early 80s, you could tell that the writing was genuine. That’s what people what in TV shows: good writing. Most people don’t care about celebrity cameos and big over the top scenarios. We want feel like we could be a part of the story. I don’t get that feeling with Jersey shore or Two and a Half Men. I’m sure most people agree.
This was about high school kids in the early 80s, you know, being the outsider. It was written, directed and starred basically everyone who had been involved with every Judd Apatow movie over the past four years. Joe Flaherty from SCTV played the dad and Tomas F. Wilson, the guy who played Biff in the Back to the Future movies played the gym coach. The formula seems incredible basic and that’s true, it was very basic.
The writers wrote about stuff that they experienced during high school and even though it was set in the early 80s, you could tell that the writing was genuine. That’s what people what in TV shows: good writing. Most people don’t care about celebrity cameos and big over the top scenarios. We want feel like we could be a part of the story. I don’t get that feeling with Jersey shore or Two and a Half Men. I’m sure most people agree.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Insomniac with Dave Attell is, unless someone can give me another idea, the final show from Comedy Central to make it on this list. I don’t know what it is about that channel that rubs me the wrong way. I think that I should grab a list of all the failed Comedy Central shows that sucked, and trash them on the blog. It just seems like the programs are mass produced for overall appeal and don’t really strike cords with individual audiences. That’s what makes classic TV, having the flavor of the month host a web video show doesn’t (take that, Daniel “the open miker with a paycheck” Tosh).
So anyway, this show Insomniac was hosted by one of the great comics of our time, Dave Attell. He was perfect for this show. See, the premise of Insomniac was that he would go to different places around America and check out the nightlife. But he wasn’t going to these obvious places like bars and strip clubs, no he took this to completely different levels. He would go to some of the worst (by worst I mean best) places open at two in the mourning. He would run into every single freak and weirdo imaginable. Think about walking around Allston during the day and give everyone a weird sexual fetish. Those are the kinds of people he would run into. He would also go visit job that can only take place at night. I remember in one classic episode, he traveled for a night with a guy who cleans up hotel rooms after someone died in them. It sounds weird, but it was the most interesting half hour of TV, ever. People like to learn about stuff that there not supposed to know about. People are also fascinated with subculture. That is what mad this show fantastic, also the fact that I was in the eighth grade when it aired. Man, did I feel like I was getting away with murder.
I think one of the main reasons why this show failed was because of the time it aired. Once a week at two a.m. No, this wasn’t some clever marketing ploy to have a show called insomniac air when only actual insomniacs can watch it. Because if the themes in the show, it had be on that late. The censors never let it go to a prime time slot. That’s were it died, right before the sex infomercials aired. It will be missed by me, but let me know if you miss it so it can make the final list.
So anyway, this show Insomniac was hosted by one of the great comics of our time, Dave Attell. He was perfect for this show. See, the premise of Insomniac was that he would go to different places around America and check out the nightlife. But he wasn’t going to these obvious places like bars and strip clubs, no he took this to completely different levels. He would go to some of the worst (by worst I mean best) places open at two in the mourning. He would run into every single freak and weirdo imaginable. Think about walking around Allston during the day and give everyone a weird sexual fetish. Those are the kinds of people he would run into. He would also go visit job that can only take place at night. I remember in one classic episode, he traveled for a night with a guy who cleans up hotel rooms after someone died in them. It sounds weird, but it was the most interesting half hour of TV, ever. People like to learn about stuff that there not supposed to know about. People are also fascinated with subculture. That is what mad this show fantastic, also the fact that I was in the eighth grade when it aired. Man, did I feel like I was getting away with murder.
I think one of the main reasons why this show failed was because of the time it aired. Once a week at two a.m. No, this wasn’t some clever marketing ploy to have a show called insomniac air when only actual insomniacs can watch it. Because if the themes in the show, it had be on that late. The censors never let it go to a prime time slot. That’s were it died, right before the sex infomercials aired. It will be missed by me, but let me know if you miss it so it can make the final list.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Best TV Shows, Not on TV
I watch a lot of television and to be honest with you, it all sucks. There is not one good TV show out there. It seems like it’s all reality programming and stuff for teenage girls. What I would like to start is a top list of the best shows no longer on TV. I have a few ideas and I’m going to get right into it with one of them today, but please feel free to add in any in the comments section. I have ten (or so, I’m not a big fan of even numbered lists), but please feel free to add a bunch. What I want to do is feature each one a day and then make a list and then a poll.
Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn was maybe one of the absolute best discussion panel shows of all time. It aired on Comedy Central for a whole year! One entire year, I think that’s a record for that fucking network. I don’t find one thing funny about that channel. The hell with the Daily show, unless you’re a nerd who follows every minute of it, then it’s totally unwatchable. Anyway, the show was hosted by comic Colin Quinn and he would feature some of his comedy buddies each night. These comics include: Nick DePaulo, Patric O’Neal, Greg Geraldo, Rich Voss and Jim Norton. Every so often a big star would show up like: Jerry Seinfeld, Will Farrell or Denis Leary.
This was a no-holds barred, non-pandering, flaming example of free speech. Those very things that the show stood for are the same things that helped get it cancelled. If people are offended by a TV show, then don’t watch it. If you get offended by something you read, then don’t read it. I hate when people feel the need to police the rest of the world when they don’t like something. The wrong people get to decide what America wants to watch. I’m tired of those shitty sitcoms. This was genuine! This was good! This was…dare I say it…real!
So anyway, the show was set up in a very loose manner. The guys would constantly rank on each other, yell and talk over one another. It was the most fun I had ever had watching TV. This show was truly an influence on my life and I fucking hate that. If only we had the Discovery Health network, then I wouldn’t fucking be this way. I’d be a doctor or in law school. I would actually be doing something productive with my life.
They would talk about a multitude of topical headlines, big and small. The arguments would get heated and the jokes were mostly funny. I say that because sometimes one of these comics would bomb and then get shit on and made fun of. I would love to show you a clip, but I don’t know how to fucking work the YouTube add-on!
Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn was maybe one of the absolute best discussion panel shows of all time. It aired on Comedy Central for a whole year! One entire year, I think that’s a record for that fucking network. I don’t find one thing funny about that channel. The hell with the Daily show, unless you’re a nerd who follows every minute of it, then it’s totally unwatchable. Anyway, the show was hosted by comic Colin Quinn and he would feature some of his comedy buddies each night. These comics include: Nick DePaulo, Patric O’Neal, Greg Geraldo, Rich Voss and Jim Norton. Every so often a big star would show up like: Jerry Seinfeld, Will Farrell or Denis Leary.
This was a no-holds barred, non-pandering, flaming example of free speech. Those very things that the show stood for are the same things that helped get it cancelled. If people are offended by a TV show, then don’t watch it. If you get offended by something you read, then don’t read it. I hate when people feel the need to police the rest of the world when they don’t like something. The wrong people get to decide what America wants to watch. I’m tired of those shitty sitcoms. This was genuine! This was good! This was…dare I say it…real!
So anyway, the show was set up in a very loose manner. The guys would constantly rank on each other, yell and talk over one another. It was the most fun I had ever had watching TV. This show was truly an influence on my life and I fucking hate that. If only we had the Discovery Health network, then I wouldn’t fucking be this way. I’d be a doctor or in law school. I would actually be doing something productive with my life.
They would talk about a multitude of topical headlines, big and small. The arguments would get heated and the jokes were mostly funny. I say that because sometimes one of these comics would bomb and then get shit on and made fun of. I would love to show you a clip, but I don’t know how to fucking work the YouTube add-on!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Summer movie preview, Part 2
The A-Team. This isn't going to be a piece of absolute crap. If I were going to compare this movie to a pile of shit, it would be in the neighborhood of three Activias and then a glass of water from a Bolivian lake. That's the kind of shit, this movie would be. Liam "Fucking" Neeson is in this! Doesn't he have a respectable movie career? What is he doing to himself? He's going to be driving around in a van with for dudes. They don't even kill people. All of this is giving me a Natasha Richardson sized headache. Why the hell did I do that?
Eclipse. This is yet another Twilight movie. I am getting so tired of this stuff. I understand it isn't made and produced for me, but then again, what is? I always hear about those male 18 to 34 demographics. Now a days there less and less about who's watching T.V. and more and more about who's being convicted of rape. You know why? Because there isn't anything on! This bullshit is going to make millions and millions of dollars from all the its Emo girl fans. Money that otherwise would have been used to buy razor blades and paper for suicide notes. I'm so classy.
Sex in the City 2. The Kentucky derby starts early and early each year. This movie is for any man who needs to be cured of his sex addiction. There are sexier bodies in a confederate graveyard. I've seen more desirable women at a Hospice. I think after those three lines it's pretty (the only time you'll see that word in this section) obvious on my stance. If it was funny, I wouldn't care. If you don't like how I'm being superficial, then leave a comment. I'd rather willingly hand over my hard drive to the F.B.I. than go see this movie. Don't ask me what I mean by that.
Iron Man 2. Isn't terrible how all the movies nerds want to go see come out when the sun is closest to the earth? Our pale skin can't handle it. Well, Ive actually never been a nerd for comics. Star wars, baseball cards and wrestling are what has made be a chick magnet over the years. This movie is going to make more money and then a bunch of sequels and it will all be ruined. But you might actually find me a the movies for this one.
So, in this section alone, we have a T.V. show remake and three sequels. Why be original? I should take a tip from Hollywood.
Eclipse. This is yet another Twilight movie. I am getting so tired of this stuff. I understand it isn't made and produced for me, but then again, what is? I always hear about those male 18 to 34 demographics. Now a days there less and less about who's watching T.V. and more and more about who's being convicted of rape. You know why? Because there isn't anything on! This bullshit is going to make millions and millions of dollars from all the its Emo girl fans. Money that otherwise would have been used to buy razor blades and paper for suicide notes. I'm so classy.
Sex in the City 2. The Kentucky derby starts early and early each year. This movie is for any man who needs to be cured of his sex addiction. There are sexier bodies in a confederate graveyard. I've seen more desirable women at a Hospice. I think after those three lines it's pretty (the only time you'll see that word in this section) obvious on my stance. If it was funny, I wouldn't care. If you don't like how I'm being superficial, then leave a comment. I'd rather willingly hand over my hard drive to the F.B.I. than go see this movie. Don't ask me what I mean by that.
Iron Man 2. Isn't terrible how all the movies nerds want to go see come out when the sun is closest to the earth? Our pale skin can't handle it. Well, Ive actually never been a nerd for comics. Star wars, baseball cards and wrestling are what has made be a chick magnet over the years. This movie is going to make more money and then a bunch of sequels and it will all be ruined. But you might actually find me a the movies for this one.
So, in this section alone, we have a T.V. show remake and three sequels. Why be original? I should take a tip from Hollywood.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Summer Movie Preview, Part 1
There are a ton of huge movies this summer that are likely to gross hundreds of millions of dollars and still not be able to turn a profit. Of course, I’m not going to see any of these movies because that would mean leaving the house. God forbid I step outside instead of sitting in my room, wallowing in my own crapulence. But, then again, none of these movies really appeal to me anyway. I only watch documentaries about Lincoln’s alleged homosexual tendencies and Brazilian vomit-fetish bootlegs. Enjoy part one!
Nightmare on Elm Street
Everyone’s famous burn victim is back! No, not the guy who was on Oprah, Freddy Kruger. This is a total upheaval of the first film. I never like it when they remake horror movies. In today’s world everything is redone using a lot of CGI. I hate it when they use CGI to make things look scary; it takes all of the emotion right out of it. CGI is not scary. The bodies of the people who program CGI, that’s scary. You could make a horror film just by zooming in on the stretch marks on their arms. I was never a fan of the film to begin with, the trailer looks great, but I don’t feel anything from it.
The Karate Kid
I think that the Hollywood has also spent sometime in a “Hot tub time machine” (OOH, feisty, I bet the lamo secretarty I used to work with would have liked that one). The second movie on the list that started in the 80. This one stars Jackie Chan as Mr. Muyagi and black people as everyone else (except the bad guy, he’s Asian too). What can I say about this?
Babies
This is an interesting idea. It’s a documentary filmed like a nature documenerty, but with babies. The crew set out to capture babies from all over the world in their natural habitat. Habitats that include: crying on air plain, handing you a slimy handful of Cheerios and being breast fed in public places. So far so good? No terrible joke, right? Wrong! I heard the DVD extras will feature a blooper reel, all miscarriages.
Marmaduke
This is a life action version of the comic strip about the dog that does people stuff. It is a very unfunny waste of time I don’t recommend it and I really doubt that this is going to be good at all. Well, unless there’s a scene where Marmaduke licks peanut butter off of his owner’s genitals, then maybe.
Nightmare on Elm Street
Everyone’s famous burn victim is back! No, not the guy who was on Oprah, Freddy Kruger. This is a total upheaval of the first film. I never like it when they remake horror movies. In today’s world everything is redone using a lot of CGI. I hate it when they use CGI to make things look scary; it takes all of the emotion right out of it. CGI is not scary. The bodies of the people who program CGI, that’s scary. You could make a horror film just by zooming in on the stretch marks on their arms. I was never a fan of the film to begin with, the trailer looks great, but I don’t feel anything from it.
The Karate Kid
I think that the Hollywood has also spent sometime in a “Hot tub time machine” (OOH, feisty, I bet the lamo secretarty I used to work with would have liked that one). The second movie on the list that started in the 80. This one stars Jackie Chan as Mr. Muyagi and black people as everyone else (except the bad guy, he’s Asian too). What can I say about this?
Babies
This is an interesting idea. It’s a documentary filmed like a nature documenerty, but with babies. The crew set out to capture babies from all over the world in their natural habitat. Habitats that include: crying on air plain, handing you a slimy handful of Cheerios and being breast fed in public places. So far so good? No terrible joke, right? Wrong! I heard the DVD extras will feature a blooper reel, all miscarriages.
Marmaduke
This is a life action version of the comic strip about the dog that does people stuff. It is a very unfunny waste of time I don’t recommend it and I really doubt that this is going to be good at all. Well, unless there’s a scene where Marmaduke licks peanut butter off of his owner’s genitals, then maybe.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Summer Movie Preview, Preview.
It's that time again for Summer Movies.To be honest with you I haven't been to the movies in a very long time. The last time I went to see a film,Christian Slater was in one of the trailers. I love how all of the big movies come out during the summertime. It's like Hollywood is doing mankind a special service by keeping us out of the sun and away from Triple E mosquitoes by giving us a dark and cool place to hide in.
This old curmudgeon has a lot in store for you guys this time:
A lot of art house films like Iron Man 2 and Eclipse.
Tons of low budget independent flicks like The A Team and Nightmare on Elm street.
Plus filthy jokes!!!
The fact that most movies are so terrible makes me wish Hollywood never introduced the "talky". Also, when was the last time Hollywood had an original idea? Now-a-days they just make a sequel or make an all black film version of a TV show. Wich is Something that I allways find funny and look forward to.
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